8 Tips for raising an intuitive eater
You were born an intuitive eater.
You knew when you were hungry, when you were full, and what you liked to eat. You were attuned to your internal cues of hunger, fullness, satisfaction.
At some point along the way, those innate skills were either nurtured or hindered. Interference in your ability to trust your internal wisdom and have a positive relationship with food may have come from diet culture, food scarcity, strict rules, controlled feeding, weight stigma, food monitoring.
Alternatively, your intuitive eating skills may have been nurtured from factors like parental attunement to your needs, which created a baseline of consistency and trust around food and your body.
Now, you are raising a child, and you want to not only set an example of a healthy relationship with food, but you want to nurture and protect you child’s ability to listen to their own internal wisdom.
Intuitive Eating is a framework to help establish a peaceful relationship with food. One that provides nourishment, energy, and satisfaction.
We know from research that your relationship to food and your body, can directly impact your child's relationship to food and their body. As you work on your own intuitive eating and connection to food, you will be able to positively impact your child.
You can support your children to meet their biological needs, while helping them to foster a positive relationship with food and trust in their body.
Use the following tips to feel confident in your approach to raising children that have healthy relationships with food, mind, and body:
Stay neutral
Be mindful of your language.
Avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad”. Help your children develop a neutral relationship with food. All food can be emotionally equivalent. This will prevent them from feeling shame around their food choices.
Avoid comments about how much your child is eating or should be eating. Provide a variety of nutritious food and let them decide how much or how little to eat.
Remain neutral about all food because if you show preference or pushiness around certain foods, they will begin reacting to you, rather than their own internal signals.
2. Aim for variety
Offering your child a variety of foods will give them access to the range of nutrients they need for a healthy, balanced diet. It's okay if they don't want something. Keep providing options and over time they will get the nutrients they need. This includes providing a range of prepared nutritious snacks for them to choose from.
3. Eat together
There are many benefits of eating together as a family. It's important socialization time, as well as an opportunity for you to model balanced and intuitive eating.
4. Share the benefits of nutrition
While using neutral language around food, be open about all the benefits of nutrition and the power of food. Highlight how different foods have different benefits, like giving them energy to run around the playground and go on adventures, or helping them to sleep well at night, to think clearly, to read their books.
5. Get them involved
Include your children in the process of preparing food. Bring them along to the farmers market or grocery store. Invite them to help out in the kitchen with the preparation and cooking. This increases their interest and connection to food.
6. Honor their autonomy
Allow for choice.
Give options when it comes to food.
Let your children know that you will prepare a meal for the whole family with various side dishes, so that they will definitely find something they like to eat. You can tell them you won't be concerned with how much they eat or which foods they eat, because you know that is their job.
7. Promote food as nourishment (rather than comfort)
Let food be a remedy for hunger, a way to feel satisfied and nourished. Help your children find ways other than food to comfort their emotions. Avoid using food as a reward, a bribe, or to help cope with difficult emotions. Always validate and acknowledge their feelings and then rise to the challenge of helping them cope with their difficult emotions (without using food!
8. Trust them
Stay attuned to their signals of hunger and fullness. Trust that your children know when they are hungry and when they are full. When they express and show hunger and then are fed, they learn to trust in that sensation of hunger. They feel confident that it is a normal and natural feeling. This creates a sense of safety rather than deprivation. The sense of deprivation, when their hunger is ignored or criticized, can cause them to ignore or mistrust their innate hunger and body signals. By trusting them, you help them to trust themselves and create a positive relationship with food and their body.
References:
Tribole E and Resch (2020). Intuitive Eating, 4th edition St. Martin's Essentials: NY, NY.
Tribole E and Resch (2017). Intuitive Eating Workbook: 10 Principles for Nourishing a Healthy Relationship with Food. New Harbinger: Oakland, CA.